This Is My Beautiful Mess

Welcome to my world of chaos! I am Jess, a writer, parent, spouse, and multitasker extraordinaire. Join me as I navigate the joys and struggles of raising kids, writing a book, managing a marriage, caring for animals and training dogs, and renovating a house. My blog is a blend of humor, authenticity, and real-life experiences. In here, we discuss everything life throws at us so just like me in real life... You never know what you're going to get! Embrace the Mess!

Calm behavior doesn’t come from obedience alone.
It comes from safety, structure, and understanding what a dog can actually handle.
I wrote more about this recently, using a real dog as an example.

Duke, our foster, had a rough first eight years.
When he came to us, he had to relearn everything — especially that he was safe.
Calm like this doesn’t come from obedience.
It comes from feeling safe.

This doesn’t look like dog training, does it?
Before I ever work with a dog, I’m thinking about patterns, routines, and context.
That part happens behind the scenes.
A big part of training dogs is this—computer work.
Research, continued education, and writing training plans.
It’s not why I got into this work, but it’s what makes the work effective.

I don’t have a traditional training space—and that surprises people.
Most behavior issues don’t happen in a classroom.
They happen at home, where the dog is most comfortable.
That lets me understand the dog, the family, and what “normal” really looks like for them.

January behavior often feels harder — and it’s not because anything is wrong.

Shorter daylight, colder weather, disrupted routines, and weeks of different energy all stack up. Nervous systems don’t reset just because the calendar does.

What shows up in January isn’t backsliding or failure — it��’s adjustment. For dogs and for people.

This part is uncomfortable because it’s quiet and uneven, not because it’s broken.

Slow counts. Stability returns. Just not all at once.

This stretch between the holidays ending and routines returning is always a little strange.

The noise has mostly faded, but things aren’t fully settled yet. Schedules are looser. Energy is uneven. Everyone’s a little more tired than they realize.

I notice it in people, and I notice it in dogs. More pacing. Less patience. Routines slipping just enough to matter.

None of it feels dramatic in the moment. It’s subtle. Easy to brush off.

Not problems. Just patterns.

One thing I’ve learned over time is that behavior rarely changes in isolation.

When something feels “sudden,” it usually isn’t.

It’s almost always connected to a shift somewhere else—routine, energy, expectations, environment.

Paying attention to those connections explains a lot.

One of the hardest things for families to accept is that struggling doesn’t mean they’re doing something wrong.

Most of the time, it just means the system they’re in doesn’t match the life they’re living.

Busy houses. Kids. Work. Noise. Fatigue.
Dogs live inside all of that.

When things feel hard, it’s rarely because someone isn’t trying.
It’s usually because the expectations are heavier than the support.

That’s something I notice again and again.

I've been a little quieter online lately. Life got heavy for a bit--health stuff, family loss, and all the things that come with it--and I needed to step back.

That kind of pause tends to change how you look at everything. Not just life, but the way we ask people to cope, perform, and keep it together when they're already carrying a lot.

Coming back, I keep thinking about how much pressure we put on dog owners to "fix" things quickly.

Most families aren't careless or lazy. They're overwhelmed. They're trying to keep kids safe, routines moving, and everyone regulated at the same time.

A lot of behavior issues don't come from bad dogs, they come from unclear expectations and unrealistic setups.

Calm structure over constant correction is still what I believe in.

I wrote mine. Your turn!

#doghumor #doglife🐾 #doglover #animallovers #ridgelinecanine
#dogsofinstagram

I don’t fight to prove I’m right — I fight to make things better.
For dogs. For myself. For whoever’s along for the ride.

No theatrics. No motivational sermons.
Just real life, real work, and the occasional sarcastic comment.

Dog training is one part of this page —
the rest is whatever life feels like throwing at me:
the chaos, the stories, the lessons,
and the stuff worth saying out loud.

If that hits, good! We'll get along great!
If it doesn’t…
there are plenty of quieter corners on the internet.

#ruthbaderginsburg #dogtraining #ridgelinecanine #thismesswithjess #adviceoftheday

I’m Jess — writer, dog trainer, chaos coordinator, and professional ‘figure it out as I go’ human.
I created this page to share the work I love, the stories that shape me, and the messy, meaningful parts of life that deserve a voice.
If you’re into honest conversations, dog behavior that actually makes sense, and real-life stories instead of curated perfection — stick around.
This is where it all comes together.

#ridgelinecanine #thismesswithjess

My girl ❤️

#thismesswithjess #daughter #a1

Writing this was hard, recording it was even harder but living with it is almost unbearable.

#thismesswithjess #love #thepohlmanzoo #thepohlmanzoo #dogsofinstagram #seniorlove

New Blog Post Up!

Finding the Right Dog for Your Family: More Than Just Puppy Love

Let me know:
Drop your dog’s breed in the comments 👇 and tell me one thing that makes them a perfect (or hilarious) fit for your family!

Read the entire post here:
https://www.thismesswithjess.com/post/finding-the-right-dog-for-your-family-more-than-just-puppy-love

#adoptorshopresponsibly #dogsofinstagram #doglover #therightfit #blogpost #thismesswithjess #ridgelinecanine

Raising a Preteen Daughter: The Wild Ride No One Warned Me About

Head over to www.thismesswithjess.com to read more and join in the conversation!

#thismesswithjess #love #preteen #wild #ride #minime #daughter #daughters #mamaofdrama

Bringing my writings to life!

Find more at www.thismesswithjess.com

#thismesswithjess #love #marriage #marriedwithchildren #couplegoals

The Tale of the Tripod

As many of you are aware, things at The Pohlman Zoo are always a little chaotic but usually the other 3 fur kids are the ones causing all the drama!

Our almost 11 year old, 16 pound "mountain lion" (as he's been dubbed by the vet) has been the healthiest, cheapest 😆, and the least-drama-causing pet we've ever had! Until last week.

This little dude had been limping so I took him to the vet for X-rays. Thankfully nothing was broken but he did have a torn ligament that required surgery. He was dropped off for surgery and soon after I got a call informing me they couldn't reattach it to anything as the bone itself was actually "dissolving".

There's no obvious reason as to what was causing the bone issues or if it would spread so we had to make the tough decision to amputate his leg to help ensure he could live the rest of his life as healthy as he had the first half.

Mr Rupert is home now and recovering well! He's salty about being locked away in the laundry room and he's doing his best learning how to get around but he's getting plenty of cuddles and pain meds to help him through it. ❤️

I need to say a HUGE thank you to Glacial Lakes Vet Clinic for all their awesome work, support and reassurance! It was a huge shock for all of us and it's changed our way of life for now in ways we weren't prepared for but they took great care of Rupert and were very patient through all my calls and millions of questions.

I also had some amazing family and friends who helped me get prepared mentally and prepare the house for our new Tripod, specifically Abby Bean and Sam Lair . I could not have done this without your tips and especially your words of encouragement! Thank you both SO much! ❤️

We still have a long road helping Rupert navigate this new life but we're lucky to still have this "little" guy around. ❤️

#thepohlmanzoo #thismesswithjess #rupertthemountainlion #tripod #amputee #love #photooftheday

Here's a fun trick to teach your dog!

"Bow"
Lure the dog into a bow position by holding a treat near the ground between their front paws. Reward them when they hold the bow.

#trainingtiptuesday
#trainingtips #dogtraining #dogtraıner #rlc #ridgelinecanine #ridgelinecaninetraining #positivereinforcement #dogsofinstagram #pohlmanzoo #thepohlmanzoo

Same field, same little girl, just 8 years later ❤️

Always my baby

#mommyslittlegirl #thebaby #A2 #firstbaseballgame #minnesotatwins #mntwins #twinsbaseball #youngest #mlb #twins #love #momof2 #momofdaughters #photooftheday #daughter #thismesswithjess #pohlmanzoo #thepohlmanzoo

There's something so special about being there for your fur babies as they age ❤

Click on the link to read the new blog post and let me know what you think.

Feel free to share your stories and pictures too!

www.thismesswithjess.com

#seniorcat #olddog #oldcat #goldenoldie #seniorlove #proudpawrent #ageisjustanumber #beaglelove #pohlmanzoo #thepohlmanzoo #thismesswithjess

Reading to Miss Lady Bugs

#beardie #beardielove #LadyBugs #A1

Happy 11th Birthday to my baby girl!

@pink @thescriptofficial

Concert night with my mini me!

@thescriptofficial @pink @kidcutup

#mamaofgirls #mamaofdrama #girlsdoitbest #diy #girlswithtools

We received the news recently that our first foster, the sweetest 8 yr old, 80lb "puppy" who ever lived, Duke, had gone on to the rainbow 🌈 bridge.

It was heartbreaking learning of his cancer diagnosis and knowing his owner had to make this hard decision, but I am so grateful we got to be part of Duke's story. ❤️

He went from what we referred to as a 'prison cell' to our home where he learned how to be a dog, and then to his forever home; where he got to be loved on, happy and free the last few years of his life.

If you're able to, foster. Love the dogs who may not know what that feels like. It hurts like h*ll when they leave you, but dang... The love and trust they give you in return and seeing them happy in their forever home is SO worth it!

Pictured below:
1. The day I picked up Duke and brought him home
2. The day he got his very first, much needed groom
3. Duke so happy in his forever home
4. A little memorial to Duke we have in our home

Sundays are for very "little" helpers and extremely big dogs ❤️

#groomers #groomersofinstagram #groomer #doggroomer #grooming #ridgelinecanine

I can't believe it's only April and I'm already posting this but...
After a run yesterday afternoon we brought our dogs inside only to discover TICKS! 🤢

When checking for ticks, make sure your looking in your dog's ears, mouth and between their p paw pads too!

Meet Hoyter!

I got to have the pleasure of meeting this sweet boy and having him in the shop for company today ♥️

Another awesome transformation!

#groomers #groomersofinstagram #groomer #ridgelinecanine #grooming

We're back in the shop!! 🎉

Although I'm still selective on the size of dog and how many dogs I can take in a day, it's so nice to see your pups again! ❤️

I'm working on an amazing doodle this morning and had to share one of my favorite tools in the shop.

This de-matting brush is a MUST for dogs with double coats (most doodles and other doodle mixes have these types of coats) on top of the regular brushes you use daily on your dogs. This does not need to be used every day but even fully brushed, you'll notice a difference in your dog's coat because this gets all the shedded hair and fur that can get caught up in the undercoat (Yes, doodles do shed! Just not the same way other dogs do). Regular brush's bristles usually just glide over the top of the undercoat and give the appearance of a fully brushed coat.
When grooming, clippers get caught in the undercoat or can leave odd marks and indents if the undercoat isn't brushed out which can lead to your groomer charging more for time/dematting when you didn't feel any mats before dropping them off.

You can get this brush at any pet supply store or Amazon and they are *usually* under $20.

If you want more tips and tricks to getting your dog's coat looking and feeling it's best or keeping costs down at the groomer's, let me know! 😊

#groomers #groomersofinstagram #groomer #doggroomer #grooming #ridgelinecanine #groomingtips #groomingtipsfordogs #groomersofinstagram #groomersofinstagram #groomingtipsfordoodles

I'm not sure if I'm excited for all this snow we're going to get because my floors won't be muddy for awhile, or if I'm annoyed because I'm so ready for spring! 😆

Ladies, gentlemen and all my favorite 4-legged friends!

I am currently out of the shop with a back injury so I'll need to be rescheduling a few appts from this upcoming week into the following week.

Thank you all for understanding! This is just a short-term thing and I'll be back to full capacity training and grooming ASAP!

When I'm back, a few of you (depending on the dog and the time of day) may even get to meet the newest addition to the family, Bugs! 🦎 He absolutely loves the sun that comes in from the big window in the shop and likes to check out the other animals *from afar*. 😆😆

When you get to start your day off with a cute face like this, is it really work??

Mr Bogey is all about the snuggles today! ❤️

Yesterday was a day of Sadie's!

I got to start and end my day with a Sadie and this little lady who came in for a deshed was a perfect ending. ❤️

Just look at that sweet face!

Welcome to the Ridgeline family, Sadie! 💞

A great thing to keep in mind when ordering flowers tomorrow!

I always knew there was a reason I loved roses and sunflowers 😊

I ❤️ these transformations!

It didn't hurt either that Grover was super sweet and cuddly too. 😉
He left looking and feeling like a totally new dog!

#groomers #groomersofinstagram #groomer #dogsofinstagram #doggroomer #grooming #ridgelinecanine

"Although you see the world
Different than me
Sometimes I can touch upon
The wonders that you see
And all the new colors
And pictures you've designed
Oh, yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine
You don't need directions
You know which way to go
And I don't want to hold you back
I just want to watch you grow
You're the one who taught me
You don't have to look behind

Oh, yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine

Nobody's gonna kill your dreams
Or tell you how to live your life
There'll always be people to make it hard for a while
But you'll change their heads when they see you smile
The times you were born in
May not have been the best
But you can make the times to come
Better than the rest
I know you will be honest
If you can't always be kind

Oh, yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine." Carole King

#motherhood #motheranddaughter #shewillchangetheworld #stronggirls #strongwomen #sisters

Coming tonight!!

RLC's version of the 12 days of Christmas...

Day 1 of The 12 Days of Brain Games for your dog!

Stay tuned! 😊

Due to concerns regarding the new respiratory illness in dogs that has been spreading around the nation, RLC will be foregoing all cancelation policies for the next 30 days (date subject to change).

While I'm not aware of any cases in SD currently, I do want to be mindful of everyone traveling this time of year, visiting family with dogs as well as boarding their dogs.

If you have questions about this policy change, please ask!

If you have concerns about the illness in question, please see your vet and/or consult a reputable site (I like avma.org personally) as I am not in a position to give medical advice.

This gorgeous girl got to visit the shop this weekend and we had a great time. 😊

She's full of energy, sass and so much love!

I feel so lucky to have Miss Nala (and her wonderful family) as part of RLC! ♥️🐾

#groomers #groomersofinstagram #groomer #dogsofinstagram #doggroomer #grooming #ridgelinecanine

Here is Benny's absolute FAVORITE way to get fed!

It's super easy to teach with a food-motivated dog and it's a great way to enrich their minds while giving a little bit of exercise too.
You can gradually increase the difficulty and to the dog, it's like a new game every time you move the button.

Let me know if you need tips or tricks on this and I can send you the link too.

#rlctraining #mentalstimulation #dogtrainingtips #dogtrainer #dogsofinstagram #doggroomer #doggroomer #ridgelinecanine

I'm finally done in the shop for the night after a day of all working dogs. ♥️ If you know me well, you know how much I absolutely love working dogs.

Smart, fun, brave, hard-working and their personalities are huge!

So when this happened today and my daughter took a video I just knew I had to share it. This was Miss Bluebelle's first visit at RLC and I'm not sure who enjoyed it more... Me, my daughter or Bluebelle! 🐕

#doggroomer #dogsofinstagram #grooming #ridgelinecanine #groomers #rlctraining

The shop kitty is back! ♥️

Miss Dixie 🐈‍⬛ is back to greet the pups coming into the shop!

The last few months have been more difficult for her as she's been adjusting to a whole new life being deaf.

She's still our sweet Old Lady who wants to be involved in everything, we're just more careful with her now. 😆

Has anyone else dealt with a huge life change like this with their pet? I'd love any advice you have!

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Just Call Me a Jack of all Trades!

Teaching Humans to Speak Dog

Meet with me to create a unique training program specially designed for your dog's needs and your family's lifestyle. From basic obedience training to intense behavioral issues and aggression, I've worked with them all!

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Find My Dog

Are you looking for a new dog to join your home? Let me help you find the perfect breed to fit your family!

I can also work with the shelter/breeder and help your current dog get acquainted with their new BFF before they even come home.

Writer Extraordinaire!

Do you love my writing and want a hand coming up with an intro for your new business or maybe editing a book or article you're writing? I can do that too!

This Is My Beautiful Mess

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Teaching Kona How to Exist

It’s Not Your Dog — It’s the Conversation You Didn't Know You Were Having

Finding the Right Dog for Your Family: More Than Just Puppy Love

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Teaching Humans to Speak Dog

Find My Dog

Writer Extraordinaire!

This Mess With Jess

This Is My Beautiful Mess

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Follow us on Instagram

Teaching Kona How to Exist

It’s Not Your Dog — It’s the Conversation You Didn't Know You Were Having

Finding the Right Dog for Your Family: More Than Just Puppy Love

Services

Teaching Humans to Speak Dog

Find My Dog

Writer Extraordinaire!

This Mess With Jess